Yeah, you know who you are! I was just searching google and it appears that I am listed in The Internet Movie Database.
The only piece of information about myself is the following:
‘Water skier and member of the California Water Bugs club in 1940s.’
I tried to update the profile but they want $30.00 a year to do this. If for any reason, I ever need to be listed #1 on Google, $30.00 seems like a fair price. Or…. If I get annoyed and people start bothering me about my ultra cool water skiing skills of the 40’s - I might just have to belly up the $30.00!
I originally wrote this post last Sunday and while on a business trip in Washington DC I had called a cab service to take me to the airport. While on the phone we negotiated the spelling of my last name for a good 2-3 minutes as I repeated the spelling. I was pretty sure that we had it right at the end of the dialog, but I was wrong. Will the real Aaron Thillits, please stand up. And will the real cab service please train the dispatch team to learn “P” as in Paul is just that.
Well, it’s mother’s day and while I don’t have a tremendous amount of humor (ok, I do) to be associated with the BLOG, I wanted to send a shot out to the one that gave birth to me. (Hopefully you know who you are) I also wanted to send a big happy mothers day to my brother from another mother and his mommy. Here is a good story that helps me put in perspective the relationship with my mom.
Story Title: Knowing when to be silent…
During a pretty sizable community event we ended up at an older man’s house looking through items he had for sale. In the Midwest we call these rummage sales. As we were rummaging through his goods and wares he started to talk about some of the items he had for sale. The nice older gentleman told me he was a survivor of the Holocaust . I was listening to his stories, when my mother walks into the middle of the conversation and decides says quite abruptly - “That’s cool, I am German”. In other words our ancestors were part of the Final Solution of the Jewish Question and slaughtering of 11 million of your fellow friends and family members.
Word to my MOM!
Morale of the Story: Everyone has a past and a culture they should be proud of, but it’s perfectly fine to selectively be proud.
For the record, my mother had no idea what she was saying and was more about “getting involved with the conversation”. It wasn’t until we left that I spilled the beans on why at that particular point in time it wasn’t hip to be German. It’s a story we tell to this day!
While allowing my son and friend to play outside they rushed in the house to pose the question, “What Do Box Elder Bugs Eat?”. I googl’ed it and immediately fed them the information and they were gone like the wind, quiet and happily playing outside.
After 30 or so minutes of unusual silence, I became slightly alarmed at what they were doing with this piece of information.
They had a nice sized jar and had collected about a half pound of Box Elder Bugs, filled it with a buffet of grass and flowers - straight from answers.com.
Later that night as everyone settled down, I ventured outside to find the mysterious box elder jar. To my surprise, I found that it had been capped without holes and all of the little black and orange bugs had died. I am not big into slaughtering the race of bugs, but I decided to tell my kid that all the food in the world is useless without the ability to breath.
It reminded me of the Bonsai Kittnen Internet Hoax that grew cats in a jar!
How could “Another Man” really compete with “One Man” without his own analytic service and riding the coattail of a superstar?
Still in the early stages of development, I am happy to announce Poopra - A Nationwide Bathroom Analytics Package. (acronym is N-BAP) With the need to understand what, how, and why people use the restroom, I have been hard at work installing and configuring RFID chips and remote reporting in millions of public restrooms across the nation. Poopra won’t be your average N-BAP but track such information as….
- % Poopers
- % of Wipers
- % of Hand Washers
- % of Talkers (those who like to converse while doing the deed)
- % of Emailers (those you enjoy using their mobile device to email people)
- % Political Signalers (we would have called this one “Craigers”, but didn’t want to get in trouble)
- % of Women Bathroom Visits
- % of Men Bathroom Visits
- % of Handicap Stall Visits
Live Tracking and Bathroom Statistics
Poopra’s revolutionary toilet bowl architecture, combined with its intuitively designed client software, enables seamless tracking of bathroom. Bathroom owners can track over 40 different lavatory events and analytics. Never before has so much information been instantaneously available to lavatory enthusiasts.
While still in early development we wanted to give you a sneak preview of the features we have enabled!
Click Image for Bigger Image. (Trust me, it’s worth the click)
The above stats represent a partnership with 113 airports nationwide. As part of an elite beta testing team, Poopra has been installed and configured to gather stats in some of the busiest and most used bathrooms nationwide.
As the final touches are being completed on Poopra, we will start taking applications from public bathroom owners.
I am anti-buffet, but my kids like it so from time to time we visit the local casino (Isle of Capri) to devour as much food as possible and feel terrible afterwards. We have visited this specific buffet about 4 or 5 times in the last year and every time leave disappointed but still full. My last 4 tips were less than a quarter (25 cents), just to let them know I didn’t forget, but honestly they didn’t deserve my quarter.
