I feel horrible. I had a bad day and unleashed. The results, I got 4 more readers. To those 3 readers that stayed, you have issues. To the 4 that signed up, you have even more issues. Seriously I do feel bad about calling it quits and hope you will take me back. I feel like an alcoholic that is returning to the bottle, but you my readers are the wife that won’t let go. It’s cool and all that I received a few more readers after I called it quits, but I am a little more depressed that the increase in traffic is really just a ploy to watch the crazy man lose his mind.
I am not sure where we will go next, but I appreciate the support and will return to some weekly posts. Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate the brothers, family members, and cousins from Onemans kin in Alabama, but I am not sure if you really count as true readers as Alabama has some messed up laws. I highlighted (bolded) a few of the reasons why I am not allowed to visit the state, with the primary one being my need to “sell” blow-out nuts!
• You must subscribe via RSS to Bloggers that quit and hate blogging.
• Anniston: You may not wear blue jeans down Noble Street.
• An ordinance in Linden, Ala., provided that all women of “uncertain chastity” had to be off the streets by 9 p.m.
• Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.
• Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
• Children of incestuous couples are deemed legitimate.
• Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
• Hunting is not allowed on Sunday.
• Incestuous marriages are legal.
• It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
• It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy.
• It is illegal to maim oneself to escape duty.
• It is illegal to stab yourself to gain someone’s pity.
• It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
• It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.
• It is legal to drive the wrong way on a one way street if you have a lantern on the front of your car.
• It is unlawful to wear women’s pumps with sharp, high heels.
• It’s against the law for a man to seduce “a chaste woman by means of temptation, deception, arts, flattery or a promise of marriage.”
• It’s illegal to play dominoes on Sunday.
• Jasper: It is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.
• Lee County: It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday.
• Masks may not be worn in public
• Men may not spit in front of the opposite sex.
• Mobile: It is unlawful to howl at ladies inside the city limits. It is unlawful to wear women’s pumps with sharp, high heels.
• Montgomery: It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of it spooking horses.
• No persons may sell “blow-out nuts”.
• Peanuts are not allowed to be sold in Lee County, Alabama after sunset on Wednesdays.
• Pool halls may not be operated between 11:30 PM and 6 AM.
• Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.
• Slavery is still legal in Decatur, Alabama.
• The game of crackaloo is illegal in Fairfield, Ala.
• Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men.
• Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men.
• You cannot chain your alligator to a fire hydrant.
• You may not drive barefooted.
• You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
• You must have windshield wipers on your car.
Tags: i am sick, sick puppies, we are sick, your sick
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