Now that my traffic is up and I have a solid 6 readers, I thought it was time to open the flood gates and offer up my special “roasting” service. As seen with “Woopra” - I will make do a post that is a parody of yourself, product, or service. With my very loyal following of 6 readers this post will drive traffic and become the next viral sensation on the Internet.
Here is how the process will work…
1.) Head over to the Products Page - and purchase your own “Roast” for a $12.12 (that’s only $2.02 per feedburner subscriber).
2.) Complete the purchase and make payment via PayPal.
3.) Upon completion, I will be in direct contact with you and in 2 weeks or less you will have your very own Blog Post.
A word of warning - once the purchase is made there is no stopping me! (Unless of course I get a court order). I will brainstorm and develop a post that belittles your personality, picks apart your product or service, and apply humor when needed.
$12.12 is cheap and the price will increase $2.02 for every new feedburner subscriber. If you ever wanted 6 loyal readers to learn about your product, the time is now.
Editors Note: The E-Commerce Plugin was just installed and not tested, if you have problems with it (which is very possible) - post a comment and I will make sure it is fixed.
Tags: blog, e-commerce, roast
Well, it’s mother’s day and while I don’t have a tremendous amount of humor (ok, I do) to be associated with the BLOG, I wanted to send a shot out to the one that gave birth to me. (Hopefully you know who you are) I also wanted to send a big happy mothers day to my brother from another mother and his mommy. Here is a good story that helps me put in perspective the relationship with my mom.
Story Title: Knowing when to be silent…
During a pretty sizable community event we ended up at an older man’s house looking through items he had for sale. In the Midwest we call these rummage sales. As we were rummaging through his goods and wares he started to talk about some of the items he had for sale. The nice older gentleman told me he was a survivor of the Holocaust . I was listening to his stories, when my mother walks into the middle of the conversation and decides says quite abruptly - “That’s cool, I am German”. In other words our ancestors were part of the Final Solution of the Jewish Question and slaughtering of 11 million of your fellow friends and family members.
Word to my MOM!
Morale of the Story: Everyone has a past and a culture they should be proud of, but it’s perfectly fine to selectively be proud.
For the record, my mother had no idea what she was saying and was more about “getting involved with the conversation”. It wasn’t until we left that I spilled the beans on why at that particular point in time it wasn’t hip to be German. It’s a story we tell to this day!
Tags: mom, mothers, mothers day
I am setting the funny hat aside for a few moment to deliver you an important message and some tips on gaining viability for your BLOG. You can write and write but without visitors you will simply be a ghost writer without subscribers and without a following. Not all bloggers are lucky enough to have someone like “One Mans Blog” to assist in promotion so you have to get down and dirty with traditional link building, self promotion, and gorilla marketing techniques.
I just submitted my site to www.dmoz.org and yes some of the SEO guru’s out there will tell you this isn’t worth it’s weight in gold, but let me tell you why I think it still holds value and some tips to really make your site stick.
DMOZ is more than just an old school directory, it is also a feed to 1,000’s of other directories. They have a system called RDF, that allows programmers, database gurus, and software vendors to import the entire directory for use in their own projects. See http://rdf.dmoz.org/. If you are lucky enough to get listed, it will get you listed in many more than 1 site. The real challenge is getting listed, but here are a few tips to help the process.
1.) Find the best category possible, if you have a topic related site, this is key, if not spend some time finding what you believe is the best category.
2.) When it comes time to submission, read the instructions very carefully and do as they say. If you break one of their golden rules you will never see your site listed.
3.) Submit once and wait a long time, past experience has shown 6, 12, 18 weeks is not an abnormal amount of time to get listed.
I just submitted AMB’s (Another Mans Blog) and if I get listed I will report back the exact timing it took.
That’s DMOZ in a nutshell, it probably deserved it’s own post, but I am including it with this one!
I have this list and let me tell you where I received it. I was working on another project to help promote a BLOG; and looking for some ways to build some quality links. In doing so, I spoke with a friend of friend that operates a link building service. He wanted $200-300 to manually submit the website to 100-200 quality websites. Instead of paying him ransom on this, I offered to purchase the list for $50.00. I purchased it and submitted the websites myself.
The sites vary and have changed a bit. Some are requiring payment or registration. I would not pay anyone to list your site, unless you are desperate and in such case give me $25.00 and I’ll be your friend.
Here is the list:
Yahoo!
http://add.yahoo.com/fast/add?17051064
http://submit.search.yahoo.com/free/request
http://help.yahoo.com/fast/help/us/news/cgi_submitsource
Open Directory
http://dmoz.org/add.html
Moreover
http://w.moreover.com/cgi-local/site/sourcesubmission.pl
Syndic8
http://www.syndic8.com/suggest.php?Mode=data
Newisfree
http://www.newsisfree.com/user/new/
NewsKnowledge
http://www.newsknowledge.com/products/suggest_new_source.html
Technorati
http://www.technorati.com/ping.html
Daypop
http://www.daypop.com/info/submit.htm
Bloglines
http://www.bloglines.com/
Topix.net
http://www.topix.net/ext/feedback?type=editor
Blogstreet
http://blogstreet.com/bin/addrss.cgi
Blogwise
http://www.blogwise.com/submit
BoingBoing
http://boingboing.net/suggest.html
2RSS
http://www.2rss.com/
WeBlogALot
http://www.weblogalot.com/Ping/
Globe of Blogs
http://www.globeofblogs.com/register.php
TTLB Blogosphere Ecosystem
http://truthlaidbear.com/amember/signup.php
Memigo
http://www.memigo.com/feed
BlogHop
http://www.bloghop.com/account/index.htm
Contents Matter
http://www.contentsmatter.com/add.php
Blog Search Engine
http://www.blogsearchengine.com/add_link.html
Blogdigger
http://www.blogdigger.com/add.jsp
Bloogz
http://www.bloogz.com/man_en/add_your_url.php
Blogz
http://www.sarthak.net/blogz/add.php
NewsTrawler
email to customerservice@newstrawler.com
Rocketinfo
http://reader.rocketinfo.com/desktop/AddRSSFeed.jsp
Kiosken
http://www.esperanto.se/kiosk/engindex.html
CRAYON
http://www.crayon.net/using/suggest.html
Library Weblogs
email to query@libdex.com
Kmax
email to email@kmax.ws
Bulkfeeds
http://bulkfeeds.net/app/add
Klognews
http://myst-technology.com/mysmartchannels/public/item/11685?blog=false
Ping-O-Matic
http://pingomatic.com/
Spurl
http://www.spurl.net/help/
SciencePort
http://scienceport.org/
mozDex
based on dmoz
BlogPulse
http://www.blogpulse.com/submit.html
XSNews
http://www.newsxs.com/en/sources
RSSReader
email to info@rssreader.nl
Chordata: RSS & Atom Feeds Index
http://chordata.geckotribe.com/
NewzAlert Publisher Center
http://www.newzalert.com/AuthorCenter/
BlogCatalog
http://www.blogcatalog.com/blogs/submit_blog.html
FeedsFarm
http://www.feedsfarm.com/a.html
Blogdir
http://www.blogdir.com/dir/formreg.php
Blurt It
http://www.blurtit.com/
Feed Directory
http://www.feed-directory.com/addfeed
FyberSearch
http://www.fybersearch.com/add-url.php
Swoogle
http://swoogle.umbc.edu/index.php?option=com_swoogle_service&service=submit
News Interceptor
email info@newsinterceptor.com
GetBlogs
http://www.getblogs.com/
Geek Philosopher
http://geekphilosopher.com/MainPage/gpBlogLinkAdd.php
LS Blogs
http://www.lsblogs.com/howtosubmit.php
Postami
http://www.postami.com/rss.finder/submit_feed.php
News Feed Directories
http://www.news-feeds.org/addfeed.php
MyMSN RSS Directory
http://my.msn.com/
Bloghub
http://www.bloghub.com/cgi-bin/add.cgi
Blog Rankings
http://www.blogrankings.com/addblog.php
Read A Blog
http://www.readablog.com/AddFeed.aspx
Feeds4all
http://www.feeds4all.nl/AddRSS.aspx
Plazoo
http://www.plazoo.com/addrss.asp
Feed24
http://www.feed24.com/?c=add
RSS Feeds
http://rssfeeds.com/suggest_wizzard.php
Feedmap.net (BlogMap)
http://www.feedmap.net/BlogMap/submit.aspx
RSS Network
http://www.rss-network.com/submitrss.php
IceRocket
http://www.icerocket.com/c?p=addblog
Bloggernity
http://www.bloggernity.com/cgi-bin/user.cgi?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bloggernity.com%2Fcgi-bin%2Fadd.cgi%3FSessionDate%3DTueJun50824542007%3BImageURL%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.bloggernity.com%252FAddImages%252FTueJun50824542007.png&from=add
Blogs for Small Business Directory
http://blogsforsmallbusiness.com/directory/add.html
Redtram
http://www.redtram.com/pages/addsource/
FeedCat
http://www.feedcat.net/login/
RateItAll
http://www.rateitall.com/s-4679-blog-directory.aspx
FeedBomb
http://www.feedbomb.com/
Jordo Media
http://www.jordomedia.com/RSS/l_op=Addrss.html
Blogtastic
http://www.blogtagstic.com/add-blog.php
BlogScholar
http://www.blogscholar.com/index.php?option=com_registration&task=register
Rojo
http://www.rojo.com/add-subscription/
Feedminer
http://www.feedminer.com/addfeed
RSS-Feed
http://www.rss-feed.org/
Feeds2Read
http://feeds2read.net/Suggest-A-Feed
Blogoriffic
http://www.blogoriffic.com/add_blog.php
The House of Blogs
http://www.thehouseofblogs.com/add.php
FindingBlog
http://findingblog.com/add_blog.php
Blog Top Sites
incorporated on Blog Flux
Google Blog Search
http://www.google.com/webmasters/add.html
BlogFlux Directory
http://www.blogflux.com/add.php
TheVital.Net
http://www.thevital.net/
5 Star Blogs
http://www.5starblogs.com/Add_blog
Bulletize
http://www.bulletize.com/submit.php
RSSMad
http://www.rssmad.com/
blogBunch
http://www.blogbunch.com/suggest/
FeedShot
http://feedshot.com/
BlogBiB
http://blogbib.com/submit.php
BlogExplosion
http://www.blogexplosion.com/members/my_blogs.php
Blogion.com
http://www.blogion.com/?p=submit
Blogazoo
http://www.blogazoo.com/register.php
Blog Directory Submit
http://www.blog-directory-submit.com/
Bloggeries
http://www.bloggeries.com/submit.php
Blog Soldiers
http://www.blogsoldiers.com/
Blog Advance
http://www.blogadvance.com/signup.php
Industry Blogs
http://www.industry-blogs.com/submit.php
Blog Search
http://www.blog-search.com/blog-submission.html
Best of the Web Blogs
http://blogs.botw.org/helpcenter/submitblog.aspx
All-Blogs.net
http://www.all-blogs.net/submit.php
Answers.com
http://www.answers.com/main/new_blogger.jsp
BlogCode.com
http://www.blogcode.com/encode.php
Blogmopolis
http://www.blogmopolis.com/order.php
Sphere
http://www.sphere.com/
gnoos
http://gnoos.com.au/submitFeed.jsp
iBlog Business
http://www.iblogbusiness.com/add.html
Octora
http://www.octora.com/go/myaccount.php?pg=d_f
Ranking Blogs
http://www.rankingblogs.com/dir/index.php?a=join
Wikology
http://www.wikology.com/index.php/Special:AddCompanyPage
nfeeds.com
http://www.nfeeds.com/submit.php
Free Feeds Directory
http://freefeedsdirectory.com/submit.php
HappyFish
http://happyfish.info/feeddirectory/recommend.aspx
Tailrank
http://www.tailrank.com/import
Shadows
http://www.shadows.com/security/login.rails
Feed Mailer
http://www.feedmailer.net/feedmanager
GoldenFeed
http://www.goldenfeed.com/AddFeed.aspx
moQvo
http://www.moqvo.com/
BlogAnnounce
http://blogannounce.info/submit.php
Newgie.com
http://newgie.com/contact_inquiry.asp?to=2
Photarium
http://www.photarium.com/add-site.php
Blog Toplist
http://blogtoplist.com/submit-blog.html
Jenett
http://jenett.org/ageless/
Autismlina
http://directory.autismlina.com/
All Blogs
http://www.all-blogs.net/submit.php
BlogSpot
http://macstansbury.blogspot.com/
AOL Blogs
http://peopleconnection.aol.com/blogs
BLOGS
http://blogs.botw.org/helpcenter/submitblog.aspx
Big Blog Media
http://www.bigblogmedia.com/
Bigger Blogger
http://www.biggerblogger.com/add_url.php
Blog Announce
http://blogannounce.info/submit.php
Blog Catalog
http://blogcatalog.com/blogs/submit_blog.html
Blog Challenge
http://www.blog-challenge.com/
Blog- Directory
http://www.blog-directory-submit.com/
BlogDirs
http://www.blogdirs.com/
BlogFlux
http://dir.blogflux.com/
Hot OR Not
http://blog.hotornot.com/
BlogPoint
http://www.blogpoiint.com
Ratingz
http://ratingz.net/
Yahoo!
http://add.yahoo.com/fast/add?17051064
http://submit.search.yahoo.com/free/request
http://help.yahoo.com/fast/help/us/news/cgi_submitsource
Open Directory
http://dmoz.org/add.html
Moreover
http://w.moreover.com/cgi-local/site/sourcesubmission.pl
Syndic8
http://www.syndic8.com/suggest.php?Mode=data
Newisfree
http://www.newsisfree.com/user/new/
NewsKnowledge
http://www.newsknowledge.com/products/suggest_new_source.html
Technorati
http://www.technorati.com/ping.html
Daypop
http://www.daypop.com/info/submit.htm
Bloglines
http://www.bloglines.com/
Topix.net
http://www.topix.net/ext/feedback?type=editor
Blogstreet
http://blogstreet.com/bin/addrss.cgi
Blogwise
http://www.blogwise.com/submit
BoingBoing
http://boingboing.net/suggest.html
2RSS
http://www.2rss.com/
WeBlogALot
http://www.weblogalot.com/Ping/
Globe of Blogs
http://www.globeofblogs.com/register.php
TTLB Blogosphere Ecosystem
http://truthlaidbear.com/amember/signup.php
Memigo
http://www.memigo.com/feed
BlogHop
http://www.bloghop.com/account/index.htm
Contents Matter
http://www.contentsmatter.com/add.php
Blog Search Engine
http://www.blogsearchengine.com/add_link.html
Blogdigger
http://www.blogdigger.com/add.jsp
Bloogz
http://www.bloogz.com/man_en/add_your_url.php
Blogz
http://www.sarthak.net/blogz/add.php
NewsTrawler
email to customerservice@newstrawler.com
Rocketinfo
http://reader.rocketinfo.com/desktop/AddRSSFeed.jsp
Kiosken
http://www.esperanto.se/kiosk/engindex.html
CRAYON
http://www.crayon.net/using/suggest.html
Library Weblogs
email to query@libdex.com
Kmax
email to email@kmax.ws
Bulkfeeds
http://bulkfeeds.net/app/add
Klognews
http://myst-technology.com/mysmartchannels/public/item/11685?blog=false
Ping-O-Matic
http://pingomatic.com/
Spurl
http://www.spurl.net/help/
SciencePort
http://scienceport.org/
mozDex
based on dmoz
BlogPulse
http://www.blogpulse.com/submit.html
XSNews
http://www.newsxs.com/en/sources
RSSReader
email to info@rssreader.nl
Chordata: RSS & Atom Feeds Index
http://chordata.geckotribe.com/
NewzAlert Publisher Center
http://www.newzalert.com/AuthorCenter/
BlogCatalog
http://www.blogcatalog.com/blogs/submit_blog.html
FeedsFarm
http://www.feedsfarm.com/a.html
Blogdir
http://www.blogdir.com/dir/formreg.php
Blurt It
http://www.blurtit.com/
Feed Directory
http://www.feed-directory.com/addfeed
FyberSearch
http://www.fybersearch.com/add-url.php
Swoogle
http://swoogle.umbc.edu/index.php?option=com_swoogle_service&service=submit
News Interceptor
email info@newsinterceptor.com
GetBlogs
http://www.getblogs.com/
Geek Philosopher
http://geekphilosopher.com/MainPage/gpBlogLinkAdd.php
LS Blogs
http://www.lsblogs.com/howtosubmit.php
Postami
http://www.postami.com/rss.finder/submit_feed.php
News Feed Directories
http://www.news-feeds.org/addfeed.php
MyMSN RSS Directory
http://my.msn.com/
Bloghub
http://www.bloghub.com/cgi-bin/add.cgi
Blog Rankings
http://www.blogrankings.com/addblog.php
Read A Blog
http://www.readablog.com/AddFeed.aspx
Feeds4all
http://www.feeds4all.nl/AddRSS.aspx
Plazoo
http://www.plazoo.com/addrss.asp
Feed24
http://www.feed24.com/?c=add
RSS Feeds
http://rssfeeds.com/suggest_wizzard.php
Feedmap.net (BlogMap)
http://www.feedmap.net/BlogMap/submit.aspx
RSS Network
http://www.rss-network.com/submitrss.php
IceRocket
http://www.icerocket.com/c?p=addblog
Bloggernity
http://www.bloggernity.com/cgi-bin/user.cgi?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bloggernity.com%2Fcgi-bin%2Fadd.cgi%3FSessionDate%3DTueJun50824542007%3BImageURL%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.bloggernity.com%252FAddImages%252FTueJun50824542007.png&from=add
Blogs for Small Business Directory
http://blogsforsmallbusiness.com/directory/add.html
Redtram
http://www.redtram.com/pages/addsource/
FeedCat
http://www.feedcat.net/login/
RateItAll
http://www.rateitall.com/s-4679-blog-directory.aspx
FeedBomb
http://www.feedbomb.com/
Jordo Media
http://www.jordomedia.com/RSS/l_op=Addrss.html
Blogtastic
http://www.blogtagstic.com/add-blog.php
BlogScholar
http://www.blogscholar.com/index.php?option=com_registration&task=register
Rojo
http://www.rojo.com/add-subscription/
Feedminer
http://www.feedminer.com/addfeed
RSS-Feed
http://www.rss-feed.org/
Feeds2Read
http://feeds2read.net/Suggest-A-Feed
Blogoriffic
http://www.blogoriffic.com/add_blog.php
The House of Blogs
http://www.thehouseofblogs.com/add.php
FindingBlog
http://findingblog.com/add_blog.php
Blog Top Sites
incorporated on Blog Flux
Google Blog Search
http://www.google.com/webmasters/add.html
BlogFlux Directory
http://www.blogflux.com/add.php
TheVital.Net
http://www.thevital.net/
5 Star Blogs
http://www.5starblogs.com/Add_blog
Bulletize
http://www.bulletize.com/submit.php
RSSMad
http://www.rssmad.com/
blogBunch
http://www.blogbunch.com/suggest/
FeedShot
http://feedshot.com/
BlogBiB
http://blogbib.com/submit.php
BlogExplosion
http://www.blogexplosion.com/members/my_blogs.php
Blogion.com
http://www.blogion.com/?p=submit
Blogazoo
http://www.blogazoo.com/register.php
Blog Directory Submit
http://www.blog-directory-submit.com/
Bloggeries
http://www.bloggeries.com/submit.php
Blog Soldiers
http://www.blogsoldiers.com/
Blog Advance
http://www.blogadvance.com/signup.php
Industry Blogs
http://www.industry-blogs.com/submit.php
Blog Search
http://www.blog-search.com/blog-submission.html
Best of the Web Blogs
http://blogs.botw.org/helpcenter/submitblog.aspx
All-Blogs.net
http://www.all-blogs.net/submit.php
Answers.com
http://www.answers.com/main/new_blogger.jsp
BlogCode.com
http://www.blogcode.com/encode.php
Blogmopolis
http://www.blogmopolis.com/order.php
Sphere
http://www.sphere.com/
gnoos
http://gnoos.com.au/submitFeed.jsp
iBlog Business
http://www.iblogbusiness.com/add.html
Octora
http://www.octora.com/go/myaccount.php?pg=d_f
Ranking Blogs
http://www.rankingblogs.com/dir/index.php?a=join
Wikology
http://www.wikology.com/index.php/Special:AddCompanyPage
nfeeds.com
http://www.nfeeds.com/submit.php
Free Feeds Directory
http://freefeedsdirectory.com/submit.php
HappyFish
http://happyfish.info/feeddirectory/recommend.aspx
Tailrank
http://www.tailrank.com/import
Shadows
http://www.shadows.com/security/login.rails
Feed Mailer
http://www.feedmailer.net/feedmanager
GoldenFeed
http://www.goldenfeed.com/AddFeed.aspx
moQvo
http://www.moqvo.com/
BlogAnnounce
http://blogannounce.info/submit.php
Newgie.com
http://newgie.com/contact_inquiry.asp?to=2
Photarium
http://www.photarium.com/add-site.php
Blog Toplist
http://blogtoplist.com/submit-blog.html
Jenett
http://jenett.org/ageless/
Autismlina
http://directory.autismlina.com/
All Blogs
http://www.all-blogs.net/submit.php
BlogSpot
http://macstansbury.blogspot.com/
AOL Blogs
http://peopleconnection.aol.com/blogs
BLOGS
http://blogs.botw.org/helpcenter/submitblog.aspx
Big Blog Media
http://www.bigblogmedia.com/
Bigger Blogger
http://www.biggerblogger.com/add_url.php
Blog Announce
http://blogannounce.info/submit.php
Blog Catalog
http://blogcatalog.com/blogs/submit_blog.html
Blog Challenge
http://www.blog-challenge.com/
Blog- Directory
http://www.blog-directory-submit.com/
BlogDirs
http://www.blogdirs.com/
BlogFlux
http://dir.blogflux.com/
Hot OR Not
http://blog.hotornot.com/
BlogPoint
http://www.blogpoiint.com
Ratingz
http://ratingz.net/
Blog Search Engine
http://www.blogsearchengine.com/add_link.html
Blog Top List
http://www.blogtoplist.com/
Blog Universe
http://www.bloguniverse.com/login.php
Blog-Watch
http://www.blog-watch.com/
Blog Adr
http://www.blogadr.com/addablog.html
Blog A Rama
http://www.blogarama.com/index.php?show=add-a-site
Blog Bunch
http://www.blogbunch.com/thankyou/
Blog Charts
http://www.blogcharts.net/index.php?a=join
Blod Dir
http://www.blogdir.co.uk/insert_url.php?ID=1664
Blog Dust
http://www.blogdust.com/blog-directory/submit.php
Bloggeries
http://www.bloggeries.com/submit.php
Blogoriffic
http://www.blogoriffic.com/send_addblog.php
Blog Roll
http://www.blogroll.net/
Blogs- Collection
http://www.blogs-collection.com/submit/thanks.php
Blogs Rating
http://www.blogsrating.com/
Blog Scholar
http://www.blogscholar.com
BlogStreet
http://blogstreet.com/?
BlogSweet
http://www.blogsweet.com
BlogTastic
http://www.blogtagstic.com/add-blog.php
Blog Widow
http://www.blogwidow.com/blog_hosting.shtml
Bloogz
http://www.bloogz.com/
Blurit
http://www.blurtit.com/
Browse Blogs
http://browseblogs.com/add.php
iBlog Business
http://www.iblogbusiness.com/cgi-bin/link-sql/add.pl
Delightful Blogs
http://www.delightfulblogs.com/submit.php
Finding Blog
http://findingblog.com/add_blog.php
Front Blogs
http://www.frontblogs.com/add-your-blog.xhtml
Industry Blogs
http://www.industry-blogs.com/submit.php
Quick Blog Directory
http://www.quickblogdirectory.com/submit.php?c=6
Enjoy and happy link building!
Tags: AM on Marketing, dmoz, link building
On a more serious note, I love online applications. It’s a secret passion of mine to seek out new software and see new functionality. 99.7% of the time I never use the software, but I certainly am a popular resource for people when it comes to asking something along the lines of….
I need something that does the following!
I have a great resource that I have been using and surprisingly very few people have seen the website.
Go2Web20 -
- A directory of web 2.0 applications and services
- Born around mid 2006
- 2364 logos as of Sunday, May 04, 2008
- As a visitor, you are probably active in the web 2.0 community and you are one of those labeled as ‘early adopters’. Are you?
- Thousands of visitors every day
- There’s a higher chance that you’ve been here before than that this is your 1st visit here
- Converges both Flash and AJAX technologies
The site itself is also designed in Web 2.0 theme with neat rollovers, ajax interface, and of course tagging enabled.
If you enjoy web 2.0 applications as much as I do - check it out http://www.go2web20.net
Editor Note: I was not paid to post this about Go2Web20, however if you are the owner of the website and would like to send me cash money for this great review, feel free to contact me at another@anothermansblog.com.
Tags: saas applications, web 2.0, web 2.0 apps
While allowing my son and friend to play outside they rushed in the house to pose the question, “What Do Box Elder Bugs Eat?”. I googl’ed it and immediately fed them the information and they were gone like the wind, quiet and happily playing outside.
After 30 or so minutes of unusual silence, I became slightly alarmed at what they were doing with this piece of information.
They had a nice sized jar and had collected about a half pound of Box Elder Bugs, filled it with a buffet of grass and flowers - straight from answers.com.
Later that night as everyone settled down, I ventured outside to find the mysterious box elder jar. To my surprise, I found that it had been capped without holes and all of the little black and orange bugs had died. I am not big into slaughtering the race of bugs, but I decided to tell my kid that all the food in the world is useless without the ability to breath.
It reminded me of the Bonsai Kittnen Internet Hoax that grew cats in a jar!
Some people like to post “Info Guides” on making Crack Cocaine. Crack heads around the world cause many problems, but every time I hear a “crack” story, it reminds me of the post on Craiglist that made me laugh hysterically for a period of time. From time to time I revisit this story, but thought it would be funny to share with you….
Yes, you. You sick f$#@er. On Wednesday morning I emerged from my girlfriend’s building by U.N. Plaza to find that you had sawed the tops off both the sparkplugs on my motorcycle. At the time, I had no idea why anyone would do that. Other than the sparkplugs, the bike was untouched. Some kind of bizarre vandalism? A fraternity prank gone awry? I had no idea. All I knew is that I looked like a huge douchebag riding the Muni to work in a padded motorcycle jacket and helmet.
Because the bike was immobilized I got a $35 street sweeping ticket that night. Thursday I had it towed to the shop ($45) where they replaced the sparkplugs and the boots ($50 including labor). They explained to me that “people” - I use the term loosely here - like you break off the tops of spark plugs and use the porcelain tubes to smoke crack. As an engineer and former MacGyver fan, in a way I think this is kind of cool. But then I remember that I just paid $100 for YOUR crackpipes, and I get angry again.
Crackhead, it was really good to have my bike back though. I rode home from the shop with a couple of spare sparkplugs and a smile on my face. I figured the next time I parked at my girlfriend’s place overnight I would have to buy some crackpipes and tape them to my bike as a peace offering. Overall, I wasn’t that upset. Despite having to ride the bus for three days and dropping a hundred bones at the shop, I had gained some fascinating knowledge, a new set of sparkplugs, and a pretty funny anecdote about how f&^?*&d up you are, and how our paths once crossed briefly in the night.
But you couldn’t just let sleeping dogs lie, could you Crackhead. You couldn’t just stay in on Friday, watch Letterman through the window of a home electronics store and then call it a night. You couldn’t rest on your laurels. Two porcelain sparkplug crackpipes just wasn’t enough for you, was it Crackhead? You just had to come back for more.
This morning, a scant fifteen hours after I rode it out of the shop, I found my motorcycle violated once again. This time you only took the right one - maybe you were having an off night. At least this time I had a spare sparkplug and the tools to fix it - or so I thought - having ordered a 73-piece toolset from SEARS.com last week. But no, the sparkplug socket in my new toolset was for American sparkplugs. So I had to go down to the neighborhood Ace hardware. They had an 18mm socket that would fit over my sparkplug, but it was for a 1/2″ drive ratchet. My toolkit only has 1/4″ and 3/8″ ratchets. So I had to buy a 1/2″ ratchet along with the socket. Even though the clerk took pity on me and gave me the senior citizen discount (I’m 25) it still cost me $22 all told. Now, you might say that I should have just gotten a 3/8″-to-1/2″ drive adaptor instead of springing for the whole ratchet. And to that I say “Shut the hell up, Crackhead, I’m not finished. And besides, I was eventually going to buy a 1/2″ ratchet anyway so it’s probably not worth it to take it back now.”
OK, now I’m rambling. But the point is, Crackhead, that you have done me wrong. Now, I get that you love crack. That is totally understandable. I’ve heard it is really fun, at first, and quite addictive. What I don’t understand is,
YOU ARE A CRACKHEAD. WHY DON’T YOU OWN A CRACKPIPE?
I am an engineer. Do you ever see me shaking down bums in the Loin for a calculator and sliderule? No, you don’t. Because engineering is the main thing I do, I went and bought myself a calculator. The main thing you do is crack. How do you get by without a crackpipe? The other crackheads must clown on you non-stop. I mean, the f&$#?* saw you used to saw off my sparkplugs is probably worth five or ten bucks. Why not sell or trade it for a crackpipe? You really haven’t put much thought into this, have you?
Please, Crackhead, please don’t tell me you sold your crackpipe to buy crack. Even a stupid crackhead such as yourself couldn’t possibly be that stupid.
I’ve decided that taping crackpipes to my motorcycle would be tantamount to appeasement. You have crossed a line, Crackhead - specifically California Street. You have come onto my own street and you have desecrated that which I hold dear. You have stolen from me, and you have caused me to spend the last half hour writing this post instead of engineering shit, and it is concievable, if not likely, that my boss could find out about this and fire me. I am hella pissed at you dude.
Here are my options as I see them:
1. Write a note saying that I have coated both of my sparkplugs in rat poison and tape it to my bike at night. You can thank Tim for that one, it was his idea.
2. Don’t write a note, but just coat both sparkplugs in rat poison. This is probably closer to a punishment that would fit your despicable crime. I’m sure this is super illegal and shit, but it’s not like anyone is going to miss you, Crackhead. Don’t fool yourself.
3. Wait in an alley near my bike armed with my new stainless steel mirror-finish Ace Professional brand 1/2″ drive socket wrench, my 18mm sparkplug socket, and my searing rage. It’s pretty heavy and well balanced. I am not a large man, but I am angry.
In conclusion, Crackhead, why don’t you just do both of us a favor and buy yourself a crackpipe? It will both enhance your crack smoking experience and save me a lot of time and felony assault charges. Think about it.
Sincerely,
Matt*** If you are not the Crackhead that took my sparkplugs, please disregard this posting ***
Tags: crackhead
How could “Another Man” really compete with “One Man” without his own analytic service and riding the coattail of a superstar?
Still in the early stages of development, I am happy to announce Poopra - A Nationwide Bathroom Analytics Package. (acronym is N-BAP) With the need to understand what, how, and why people use the restroom, I have been hard at work installing and configuring RFID chips and remote reporting in millions of public restrooms across the nation. Poopra won’t be your average N-BAP but track such information as….
- % Poopers
- % of Wipers
- % of Hand Washers
- % of Talkers (those who like to converse while doing the deed)
- % of Emailers (those you enjoy using their mobile device to email people)
- % Political Signalers (we would have called this one “Craigers”, but didn’t want to get in trouble)
- % of Women Bathroom Visits
- % of Men Bathroom Visits
- % of Handicap Stall Visits
Live Tracking and Bathroom Statistics
Poopra’s revolutionary toilet bowl architecture, combined with its intuitively designed client software, enables seamless tracking of bathroom. Bathroom owners can track over 40 different lavatory events and analytics. Never before has so much information been instantaneously available to lavatory enthusiasts.
While still in early development we wanted to give you a sneak preview of the features we have enabled!
Click Image for Bigger Image. (Trust me, it’s worth the click)
The above stats represent a partnership with 113 airports nationwide. As part of an elite beta testing team, Poopra has been installed and configured to gather stats in some of the busiest and most used bathrooms nationwide.
As the final touches are being completed on Poopra, we will start taking applications from public bathroom owners.
Tags: poopra
I have spent a good 15-20 minutes with “One Man” and in doing so I noticed a very large and I mean large jar intended to be a swear jar. The “FBOMBABILITY” score was derived from this jar and his favorite commercial as seen below:
Now for this to work he will have to modify the “Bud Lights” with something like Krispy Creme Donuts, Pretzels, or Potato Chips!
Tags: one man likes to eat, swear jar
One is a very definitive term. It is singular in nature and often used to represent a single entity that has achieved great things. In thinking about “one”, I always have to think there is room for “another” in the space or at least the ability to challenge one for a slice of glory.
I started thinking about the comparison of “one” versus “another” and the competitive analysis was too complex. But what if we had “battle” cards that helped us define who would win a showdown between one and another!
With a little help from Battle Cards!
I am not sure head to head how this might turn out, but you can make the judgment call based on the super powers of one man versus another man.
Alright, how can you turn a back to a Jay-Z/Matt Cutts Mashup video. Make sure you give it a few seconds to kick in, it’s a real dude rapping about CSS, HTML, SEO, and Coding.
Good Job goes out to : Poetic Prophet, aka The SEO Rapper.
Tags: design coder, seo rap, virale video
